Why-to-What
Here’s a Harborbridge fan-favorite tip that will transform your conversations. During conversations, instead of using a "why" question, choose a "what” question. For instance, rather than asking, "Why did you do that?" pose the question as, "What happened?"
The first question evoke a sense of being on the defensive. In contrast, the latter takes a neutral stance, offering an opportunity to present facts over justifications.
Some more examples:
"Why do you want to do that?" can be reframed as "What's driving that decision?"
"Why is that important?" becomes "What value does that hold for you?"
"Why is that a challenge?" transitions to "What are the challenges associated with this?"
"Why is that difficult?" can be rephrased to "What aspects make this difficult?"
"Why don’t you understand that?" turns into "What part is unclear?"
This nuanced change to phrasing may seem minor, but its impact on the dynamics of conversation is significant. Instead of being an opposing partner, you become a collaborative participant.
When you ask "what," you not only shift the dynamic but also create an environment of curiosity, paving the way for deeper insights and fostering a growth mindset. So, the next time you're tempted to ask "why," pause and reframe your question with "what." This will unlock open dialogue, fostering innovative solutions and more meaningful interactions.
Give it a try and report back!